MONEY MAKING IDEAS FOR THE COUNCIL

Why does Sutton Borough  Councils persecute motorists?  To make money, of course!  They are under pressure to keep the council tax as low as possible, but have ever increasing demands on their services.  Motorists are an easy target.  However, as the financial constraints they are under increase, they may be forced to cast their net wider.  Why stop at extorting money from motorists?  I have published a few ideas of my own here, but if you have any ideas, send them to me, and, after moderation, they will be posted on the site.

• Introduce spot fines for shouting in libraries, and train all library staff to appear deaf.
• Have parking meters for children's pushchairs and prams in public buildings, with draconian enforcement, clamping and fines for all who transgress the regulations.
• Introduce bye-laws relating to the tread depth of pedestrian's shoes, and have inspectors issue spot fines to all those whose shoes do not measure up.  (A great job for shoe fetishists!)
• Have special treble yellow lines on the approach to traffic lights, and set the lights to stay on red for several hours.  Then, issue tickets to all motorists waiting for the green light.
• Introduce a special permit scheme for fat people, on the grounds that they cause more damage to the council's roads and pavements than ordinary people.  Anyone weighing more than 15 stone should be required to carry the permit, which costs £100 a year.  Failure to comply will result in such people being fined, clamped, or in the worst cases, being towed away.
• Introduce parking controls for skateboards.
• Make some lanes in Council swimming pools 'red routes' and have wardens ensure that no swimmer stops, even for a second in that part of the pool.  Transgressors will, of course, be fined, clamped, or towed away.

Send me your ideas for other ways the council could make money.  Click HERE.

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